Finding Himself
by Aril
Summary: Bakura can't stand it anymore, the abuse of his yami that is. He's gone to seek help from the best of the best. (In short, Bakura goes to see a therapist) Rated PG-13 due to my warped mind.
1. The Begining

Hello everyone! This be me first YGO fic, so please don't kill me if ya don't like it!  
  
Malik: Feel free to kill her if you don't like it. It would put me outta my misery.  
  
Shaddap you! Just because I like torturing characters from games and comics I like, does NOT mean that you are in any immediate danger!  
  
Malik: . . . no comment.  
  
Just shaddap and do the disclaimer!  
  
Malik: ::sigh:: Does she look like Kazuki Takahashi? And if she was Kazuki Takahashi why would she be writing fanfiction about her own manga/anime? That would just be sad. . .  
  
I SAID DISCLAIMER! AND DISCLAIMER ONLY!!  
  
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If you were looking for the best, you'd be looking at the best. I could solve any problem, diagnose any disease, I could do everything. The best-known therapist there was. Note the past tense. So what happened? I got a case I couldn't conquer. Suddenly I couldn't do everything anymore, I was an average everyday person. I wasn't the person who made others rethink their lives just by being in their presence. And to think the person who ended my entire career was a white-haired, brown-eyed, high school boy who had the weight of the world on his shoulders.  
  
I had walked into my office as I did everyday, put my brief case down next to my desk and started looking for my notes on the previous session that I had yesterday with a manic depressant.  
  
"Katawasai-sensei," said a voice. {A}  
  
I jerked my head up and saw the. . . strangest looking boy I had ever seen in my life. He had pure white hair, deep brown eyes, and the palest skin you could imagine. He looked so pale that if you asked him if he ever saw the sun he'd probably ask what the sun was. But the strangest thing wasn't his white hair or pale skin, it was the gigantic golden ring he wore on a chain around his neck. In the middle of the ring was a pyramid, and in the middle of the pyramid was an eye that seemed to glow with the brilliance of fire.  
  
"How did you get in here? This room was locked." I asked tensely. After all if he had been one of my patients before and I hadn't helped him, made his life worse even, he could be seeking revenge. There are sick people like that out in the world. {B}   
  
"Iie, you aren't," the boy said, his voice quiet and soft like the wind.  
  
"And how would you know?" I asked my hand on the phone, ready to call security.  
  
The boy laughed a cruel harsh sound, "I have my ways," he said his sudden coldness fading, "which is why I came to see you."  
  
"Listen," I said, trying to keep from freaking out. "I have appointments, and I have to keep them otherwise my business would end tragically. Now I could schedule you in for one o'clock-"  
  
"He's not coming," the boy said mournfully as he sat down in front of my desk.  
  
"Who isn't?" I asked curiously.  
  
"Your eight-fifty appointment, he isn't coming," the boy repeated.  
  
"Why not?" I asked concerned and curiously. Did he commit suicide? Did he run away? Is he in the hospital?  
  
The boy seemed to stare into my eyes so long it looked as if he were trying to read my thoughts. "No, no, and no," the boy said after a few moments of silent, "not any of that, he is dead though."  
  
"How do you know this information?" I asked trying to keep the fear out of my voice.  
  
The boy was silent for a few moments he seemed to be pondering something that worried him with his brows knitted together like that.  
  
"It is in your policy to keep everything between you and your patients confidential, correct?" He asked.  
  
I nodded, of course it was! What person would want everyone to know that they were seeing a shrink? Even worse, what person would want everyone to know that they were having mental problems?  
  
He sighed, seeming to be debating between himself whether or not he should say what he was about to tell me.  
  
"I saw him die," he said still mournfully, "I know who killed him, but if I were to tell anyone but you, I would be dead as well."  
  
I was shocked, how is it that such an innocent boy could be involved with such. . . impurity! Of course I had no idea why I was so shocked, I have much worse cases than this, I have actually heard the killer's side of the story before. I've heard how he energy seemed to surge through his body after the victim's blood oozed into a pool on the floor. This boy didn't deserve this kind of trauma. That was when I tried to take some of the weight off his shoulders. I tried to help him. "Why don't you tell me your name?" I asked, "and then perhaps we could start this session since I seem to have an opening."  
  
"Bakura," he said quietly, "Ryou Bakura."  
  
"Ryou Bakura, what a lovely name," I said trying to take his mind off the murder, "now, Bakura-san, why is it that you have come here?"  
  
At this point he looked me directly in the eye, I don't know what it was I saw, but it frightened me. His eyes suddenly turned intense, and cold. It's amazing how this boy's emotions change so suddenly.  
  
"You must understand that everything I say must be taken seriously. I am no nut case I assure you of that," he said his voice stern and his gaze still intense and terrifying.  
  
I nodded, I had no clue what he was getting at, but I had the feeling that it was nothing I had ever experienced before. In other words I was like a duck in an open lake during the middle of hunting season, ready to be shot down.  
  
"I have seen many other therapists before but they all have closed and shallow minds, refusing to accept the impossible. Then I read about you in some magazine, how you seem to help anyone, even if you couldn't cure them you give them a better understanding of their condition," he said his voice softening with each word, but those eyes, still focused on mine, and still intense.  
  
"It all started when I got this ring," he said gesturing to the necklace around his neck, "When I found my other half. When I found my yami."  
  
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AHAHAAA! EVIL CLIFFY! HAHAHA!! I know, evil aren't I? ::evil grin::  
  
Malik: very much so.  
  
Thank you, Malik my dear.  
  
Explanation thingies  
  
{A} – Gimme a break, I don't know any Japanese last names so I made one up! Now watch, with my luck it's probably some cuss word I don't know about -_-;

{B}- I got that idea from the sixth sense, ya know at the beginning where the main character (yes I have forgotten his name!) dies? Oops, if you haven't seen the sixth sense, I just spoiled the whole movie for ya. . . eh heh heh heh. . .  
  
Sorry if you think I've plagiarized or something, I've read so many fics I have no clue where I got this idea. Next time iz Ryou's journal! At least I think so, I'm not sure if I'm going to continue to session between him and Katawasai-sensei or not. Oh ya, MALIK!!!  
  
Malik: T.T I hate me life. . . Please review. . .


	2. The Journal

Please forgive me if I use any of the Japanese language incorrectly, I am nothing more of a novice when it comes to Japanese. Oh and after a long debate with myself-  
  
Malik: SHORT debate, it was a SHORT debate.  
  
::glares at Malik:: After a SHORT debate with myself, I have decided to go with Ryou's journal instead of continuing the session. Don't worry there will be more sessions with Katawasai-sensei and Ryou, I'm thinking I might do something like session, journal, session, journal, session- etc. etc. etc. Oh and Malik-  
  
Malik: Don't say it. I know. ::ahem:: SHE DOESN'T OWN YU-GI-OH! IF SHE DID SHE WOULDN'T BE SITTING INFRONT OF THIS COMPUTER TYPING THIS STUPID STORY! SHE WOULD BE OFF SOMEWHERE FLAUNTING HER ARTISTIC ABILITY!  
  
How many times do I have to tell you?! DISCLAIMER AND DISCLAIMER ONLY!!!  
  
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She didn't believe me. She acted like she did, but I could tell- she didn't. Of course she didn't classify me as some sort of freak or anything, but then again she wouldn't be doing her job well if she classified me as "freak". She believed me when I told her about her dead patient, but not about Yami.  
  
Of course no one except Yuugi, Honda, Jounouchi, and Anzu would believe me about Yami. 

They all called me crazy, the psychologists I mean. They all called me insane. Maybe I am how should I know? Can insane people tell if they're insane?  
  
Maybe with time I can convince her. I doubt it though, I've thought that about other therapists but they never believed me. This one seems different though. No, she's just like the others, closed minded with a weak will, a bad combination if you ask me.  
  
The only way I even got to go see her was because Yami said that since I've been so obedient lately that he would reward me with free time, and give me semi-control of the mind link between us. You can imagine the joy I felt when he told me this, of course if he found out about the therapist he would take full control again and beat me. . . again.  
  
It's nice to tell someone other than paper about my problems though, even if she doesn't believe me.  
  
At times during our session she tried to suggest that I might have "multi- personalities". Ha, no, I don't have another personality. I have the spirit of a tomb robber living inside of me. A completely different person, nothing like me. Very big difference.  
  
Of course people don't seem to notice when Yami takes over. So apparently he looks like me. I don't see how though, I mean don't people notice how dangerous and evil his eyes get? And how his voice seems to be calling every ounce of power he has, just to destroy an obstacle in his path? Apparently not, he's quite an actor I must say. Does an impression of me perfectly.  
  
Maybe I'm doom to be sent to the nuthouse. Every other therapist tried to send me to the nuthouse. Oh they didn't tell of me of course, I would've run away had they told me. I saw it in their minds, and then I ran away.  
  
The reason Yami didn't kill me when I went to the other therapists was because I was sent there. I didn't have a choice. My father thought I was going insane when he heard my painful shrieks and wet sobs at three a.m. 

But I'm going to this therapist of my own free will.  
  
Strange as it sounds Yami can be very understanding at times. Like how he understood that my father thought I was insane and that was the reason he was sending me to the therapists. Though there are the times when he doesn't care what my side of the story is. The fact is he doesn't like whatever I did and I need to be punished. So he punishes me - painfully.  
  
I think I'm supposed to be the chicken in that joke. Oh come now, you must know that joke. I see I'm going to have to break this one down for you-  
  
***Why did the chicken cross the road?  
  
To get to the other side?  
  
No of course not!  
  
Well then, what is it?  
  
To die - in the rain - alone. {A}***  
  
I am the chicken. I am supposed to die alone. Whether or not it's raining depends on whatever the weather people say. Yes I suppose I am a bit morbid, but what can I say? I guess you're like that when your Yami abuses you. Why is it that the Pharaoh never abuses his Hikari? Maybe it's because he is an important tool in saving the world, unlike me where I am just a disguise to protect my Yami. Yuugi's lucky; his Yami treats him like a prince. Not to mention he has the greatest friends in the world. Where as I make friends with the ants that crawl under my bed.  
  
They actually aren't all that bad, the ants I mean. They'll listen to you, and they won't interrupt, and they don't give you bad advice. I suppose it's like talking to Katawasai-sensei, she doesn't believe where as the ants don't understand me. So why do I go to an expensive therapist when I can just talk to the ants for free? How the hell should I know? I'm insane remember?  
  
I'm going again tomorrow, after school. I have no clue why, but I am. Maybe it's because Katawasai-sensei actually knows what I'm saying, where as the ants just crawl around hearing me but have no clue what I'm trying to say. Or maybe I'm just too insane to know why; do insane people always understand why they do what they do?  
  
Oh Ra, I mean Kami-sama he's calling me. He wants to speak with me. It's never good when Yami wants to speak with me. Does he know about Katawasai-sensei? Kami-sama how could he NOT know? I'm the worst liar in the world! Oh please Kami-sama, I mean Ra. No. Kami-sama, WHOEVER YOU ARE, just protect me for tonight!  
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Sorry! You'll have to wait till next time to find out what happens! ^_^ Mwhahaha. . . ::gasps:: SOMEONE REIVEWED MY STORY!! YAY! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!!!!  
  
Malik: How much?  
  
::blinks:: How much what?  
  
Malik: How much sugar have you had today?  
  
Ummmm. . . TOO MUCH TO COUNT! ^_^  
  
Explanations-  
  
{A}- I got that joke off bored.com or something like that. It was said by Ernest Hemmingway (SP?), there are other ones too, like ones from the guy who founded KFC. Iz very funny.  
  
::ahem:: MALIK!!!  
  
Malik: T.T read and review. . . or she'll prolly have me head ::winces::


	3. Dominos

Whee!! It's da third chappie! Aren't you all just so excited?  
  
Malik: Enthralled, I'm sure.  
  
Well my self-esteem just dropped 10 points.  
  
Malik: My mission in life has been accomplished, but another problem has just been dropped on me- WHAT AM I GOING TO DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?!  
  
Isn't it obvious?  
  
Malik: -_- I hate you . . .  
  
I know ya do ^_^ Well don't just stand there!  
  
Malik: FOR THE LAST TIME SHE DOESN'T OWN YUGIOH! SHE HAS NO LIFE AND THAT IS WHY SHE IS WRITING THIS STORY!  
  
You'll never learn will you?! DISCLAIMER ONLY! ::strangles Malik::  
  
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I don't know why I was so anxious for my next meeting with Bakura-san; maybe it was because I couldn't diagnose him within the first meeting. I mean I didn't have any information on him until our first session when he ambushed me.  
  
The day seemed to crawl by very slowly. Like molasses in January, but some how I made it through the day without going insane.  
  
I was very curious about Bakura-san. I had never had a case like him; he seemed perfectly sane, yet there was something . . . wrong about him. He seemed to turn down the idea of multi-personalities pretty quickly. If he couldn't give me any evidence about his so-called "Yami" I might have to put him on a prescription.  
  
When I saw Bakura-san I was shocked once again. Mainly because his body was cover in bandages, his arms were wrapped in them, his face had several deep scratches, and even though he was wearing pants, I could tell he had cuts on his legs, he was limping.  
  
"Bakura-san! What happened?" I asked as I got up to help him sit down.  
  
He simply just looked at me with those wide brown eyes; you could tell he was in intense pain.  
  
"Yami. . ." he whispered.  
  
I must have looked bewildered at the thought. Perhaps this is the evidence I had been looking for, although the wounds could have been self-inflicted, in fact, most probably.  
  
"Would you like to tell me what happened?" I asked, trying to calm myself into sitting down.  
  
"Yami said I had misbehaved. He said I needed to be punished, so he punished me," he said quietly.  
  
"What did you do that made your Yami so upset?" I asked playing along with him.  
  
"I . . ." he started but he seemed he couldn't say it. He tried again, " I keep a journal, and I wrote some things Yami didn't like. I wondered why the Pharaoh never treated Yuugi, his Hikari, the way my Yami treats me. I wrote that it's probably because that Yuugi is an important tool in saving the world, and that I am just a disguise for my Yami. Apparently Yami was. . ." he paused searching for the right words to describe this, "reading through me at the time, and I didn't know. He waited awhile before. . . he said he wanted me to think that I was getting away with writing that kind of stuff. And I did think that, I thought I was getting away with it. That's when he called me, saying he wanted tot talk to me, and he became his own self and he . . ." Bakura-san drifted off.  
  
By now I was completely baffled. I never had experienced anything like this before. A second personality having it's own form? Impossible!  
  
"What do you mean 'reading through you'?" I asked trying to clear up some things for myself.  
  
"Think of when one person reads over another's shoulder. It's like that, only he was using my eyes instead of his," he said.  
  
"And he has his own form?" I asked still confused. I'm starting to sound like a shrink now, next thing you know I'll be asking things like "Now when did you start hearing these voices?" I don't like to act like a psychologist or a psychiatrist; I simply try to diagnose my patient with the best way possible.  
  
"He's more spirit-like, an apparition. He can still pick up things though," he said.  
  
Confused now, very confused. Though, it could be possible that he's hallucinating. Imagining that the damage he inflicts upon himself is what his "Yami" does to him. Maybe I really should put him on a prescription. . .  
  
"Stop it," he said angrily.  
  
"Nani?" I asked, even more confused now, if that's even possible.  
  
"Stop thinking that! I'm not crazy! I don't need to be drugged up!" He shouted as he got up from his chair as quickly as possible without hurting himself even more.  
  
"Bakura-san, calm down!" I said quickly, "Please explain to me what you're talking about."  
  
"I'm not hallucinating! I know what I'm talking about! I'm not crazy!" He repeated.  
  
"Bakura-san, I never said . . ."  
  
"I never said you said anything! You were thinking it! I know you were! Don't lie to me, Katawasai-sensei!" He screamed.  
  
I was astonished. This boy, this ordinary boy, had the power to read minds! How though? I don't believe in telepathy or anything like that, so I don't know much about it. So does this possibly mean that he's been telling the truth? Then again, why would it? What does this prove to me?  
  
I guess you could say this is where the dominos start to fall. Where everything starts to disintegrate piece by piece. Of course I didn't know it at the time. Had I, I might have been able to do something about it.  
  
I smiled to myself, "Hai, Bakura-san, I was thinking that. Please sit and let me explain," I said.  
  
"Why should I? Why should I even stay? You'll probably just trick me into taking those prescription drugs!" He shouted.  
  
"You can trust me, Bakura-san I'm not. Even read my mind if you like," I said, as I smiled triumphantly to myself. Well now I believe that little bit about the mind read got me his trust.  
  
He went silent and sank down back into his chair.  
  
"Would you like to tell me how you got this power?" I asked.  
  
"Iie, but do I really have a choice?" He said bitterly.  
  
"Hai actually. You made the choice to come here of your own free will, so therefore you direct what we talk about." I said.  
  
He seemed to ponder this for a while. Finally he made a decision.  
  
"I share a body with my Yami, as you know. Well, he has certain powers, powers of destruction, and useful powers, one of them being the power to read minds. I guess you could say that he rubbed off on me. {A}" He said with a shrug.  
  
Yay, I'm not confused anymore! This all makes sense to me! Then this means that Bakura-san is serious about this, he isn't crazy. The only question is what to do though. Bakura-san can't keep getting abused by his Yami, that's when I made the worst mistake.  
  
"Is it possible for your Yami to become his own form? So that I could speak with him?" I asked.  
  
Bakura-san's eyes grew wide and frightened. "IIE!" He shrieked in panic, "You can't!"  
  
Spoke too soon, confused again. "Bakura-san, why?"  
  
"IIE!" He shrieked again as he jumped up from his chair, "you just can't!" and with that he ran from my office.  
  
I sighed as I gathered up my papers and put them in my brief case. Big mistake, now I don't know if he's even coming back. The only thing I can do is pray that he doesn't do anything foolish and get himself hurt even more.  
  
Like I said before this is where the dominos start to fall. I, the great Akiko Katawasai, am a domino in the game of life, and I have just been hit, and have fallen.  
  
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Malik: Anyone find it ironic that this chapter is all about dominos falling when the city they live in is called DOMINO?  
  
MALIK!!! Why must you ruin everything?  
  
Malik: Because I can. ^_^  
  
::sighs::  
  
Explanations  
  
{A} - I don't know if Yami Bakura does have the power to read minds or not, but he does in this fic because I said so! So there! ^_^  
  
* * *  
  
::Author advances on person cowering in corner:: YOU!  
  
Person cowering in corner (PCIC) - Me?  
  
Yes you! ::holds up broken blue floppy:: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?  
  
PCIC - A broken floppy disk?  
  
And you are the inventor of the floppy disk! Are you not?!  
  
PCIC - Y-yes, I am.  
  
Do you know what was on this disk?!  
  
PCIC - The secrets of life?  
  
NO! Something much more important! The third chapter of my story that I worked so hard on! And then, for no reason- IT BREAKS! YOU WILL PAY. . .


	4. Voice

::grins:: I would like to give some special shout outs

Malik: Get ready to run for you're life.

::glares at Malik:: The first one would be to my Beta, known as Zoo, The Madwoman on CNN. Thank you so much, without you I would be making a fool of myself! ^_^ 

Malik: You always make a fool of yourself no matter what!

::throws death glares at Malik:: The next one would be to my reviewers! (except one, you know who you are) Thank you! Without you I would lose my motivation to write. 

The next one would be to one reviewer who I despise with all my heart yet is blood related to me. SUPERBLAH YOU NERD STOP REVIEWING IF ALL YOU'RE GOING TO SAY IS "I'M TELLING MOMMIE!" ::grabs axe:: YOU WOULD'NT WANT A VISIT FROM "MR. POINTY" NOW WOULD YOU?!

 Well that's all for shout outs! ^_^

* * *

::sulks:: I don't seem to be having very good luck with floppies lately. . . 

Malik: In other words, she ruined ANOTHER floppy.

Shaddap! And technically I didn't ruin it. . . the root beer did!

Malik: You are blaming the destruction of a floppy on root beer?

. . . yes! It's true I tell you! The root beer did ruin it! I mean if it had not gotten on the floppy when it spilled then – 

Malik: For the love of Ra! Just shut up and get on with the story!

Can't. ^_^

Malik: ::sighs:: Fine. DON'T YOU PEOPLE GET IT? SHE DOES NOT! I REPEAT - SHE DOES NOT OWN YUGIOH! 

Wow, you actually did it right this time!

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***Name please?

Ryou Bakura.

Ryou Bakura? That's an interesting name, could you please spell it for us?

 S – T – U – P - I – D space B – A – K – A ***

Why the hell did I ever go there? I'm such a fool! I should have known that if she had believed me she would have wanted to speak with Yami. I would like to throw myself out the window now if that's okay with you; maybe it will knock some sense into the empty void where my brain is supposed to be. 

Maybe staying home and talking to the ants isbetter than going to see that insane lady with the death wish. Of course I really shouldn't be talking, I mean I'm the one that's telling everythingto the insane lady with the death wish. I'm being a hypocrite again . . . 

Doesn't she know how violent he can be? How he blazes with rage every time he's about to obliterate everything around him? Oh wait, she can't know. She's never met him. 

But then again, she has seen what he can do to me. So shouldn't she get the picture?

How did I get into such a mess? Why do I have to be the one with this curse? Why is it that no one else has to endure the pain and torture I go through on a daily basis?

Feh, why do I ask questions that I already know the answers to? I got into this mess because my father gave me this damned millennium ring, I am cursed because I have this damned millennium ring, and I go through pain and torture on a daily basis because I have this damned millennium ring. . .

. . . I should remember to watch what I write, don't want to get mauled again, do I? 

Heh, don't know why, but I find it funny that my Yami wants me to think that I'm more than just a disguise and that I AM an important "tool" in, well for him, taking over the world. Yet he beats me and makes me feel like I'm lower than low, scummier than scum, smaller than small, he makes me feel like an ant sometimes.

Speaking of the ants, I think they really do know what I'm talking about. HEY! Don't laugh! I'm serious! I mean they seem more distant lately, I think they're jealous that I prefer an actual human to talk to than an-almost-microscopic-bug. Sorry ants, but it's just not the same when I talk to you guys.

I don't think they accepted my apology. . . they just crawl away when I talk to them now. Great, I'm even disliked by ants! It's just another example of how much the world hates me.

-Ryou, you nerd, stop it! You're going to get yourself killed if you keep saying this kind of stuff!

Great. Now I'm debating with the voice in my head. Wonderful.

-Ryou! I'm serious! Yami could be reading all of this! 

So? What's your point?

-Do you want to get maimed AGAIN?! 

 No, but it wouldn't matter. I mean it's not like pain ISN'T temporary.

-Nice to see that you have that kind of attitude; he could end up killing you, you know! 

Nah, he can't kill me. He needs me to live, to survive.

-Says who?

Well if there wasn't light there wouldn't be any dark correct?

- . . . yeah. . .

And if there weren't darkness, there wouldn't be any light correct?

-. . . I guess . . .

THAT is why he can't kill me. I am the light, he is the dark; one cannot survive without the other.

-Damn, you got me.

Really? WONDERFUL! Luck was actually on my side this time! 

-Don't hurt yourself with excitement. There's a first time for everything you know.

Pfft. Even the voice in my head hates me. Don't have much of a life now do I?

What am I going to do though? I mean if Yami finds out about Katawasai-sensei then I'm toast. Dry toast. VERY dry toast. VERY dry toast in the middle of the desert! VERY dry toast in the middle of a desert with a – ah, you get the idea.

And if Katawasai-sensei met Yami SHE would be toast. Dry toast. VERY dry toast. VERY dry toast in the middle of the desert! VERY dry toast – just forget it. . .

-What if you just told him the truth? What if you actually let him meet Katawasai-sensei?

I thought YOU left!!!

-No such luck, so how about some answers to my questions?

I thought YOU were the one that didn't want me to get maimed again!

-Yes, but how do you know that he's going to maim you if you tell him about all the therapy? I mean you said it yourself that he can be understanding at times, why not now?

Let's play a little "What if" game shall we? Imagine that you have an evil half who is very violent and is obsessed with taking over the world, and imagine that he abuses you on a daily basis. Then imagine going to a psychologist and telling the psychologist all about you're abusive other half. Then imagine your abusive other half finding out that you told some complete stranger all about him! What do you think would happen?

-Umm. . . Cake?

How is it that YOU somehow got into MY mind?

-I bribed your skull to let me in!

. . . I shouldn't have even asked.

-You aren't very optimistic are you? 

You're just now realizing this?

-Unfortunately, yes. I am very slow at times. Why don't you give it a chance though? Let Akiko meet Yami. I mean what's the worst that could happen? 

*** WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU TOLD A COMPLETE STRANGER ABOUT ME?!

-Exactly as it sounds, Yami, she wants to meet you too! Isn't that nice?

Why would she want to meet me?!

-Uh, because I told her about how much you "love" me!

YOU'RE LYING! TELL ME THE TRUTH!

-Uh, I told her how you treat me. . .

WHAT?! ::world blows up:: ***

You're right! What's the worst that could happen?! I think I will have Katawasai-sensei meet my Yami, a violence obsessed maniac!

-Are you being sarcastic? 

Iie, why would I be sarcastic at a time like this?

-Yeah, you're being sarcastic all right.

Are you sure? I don't think I'm being sarcastic.

-. . . . . . . . 

Forget you.

. . . Oh look! Outside! All the little white fuzzies are falling! You know, the little white fuzzies that come off of those whatchamacallit trees in the springtime! It's so pretty; it almost looks like it's snowing! {A}

I wish I could be the little white fuzzies, they don't know how lucky they have it. Being able to go wherever they please. They don't have to worry about an evil twin fuzzy grabbing a razor sharp leaf blade and cutting them to pieces!

Hai of course I know I'm doing that! Why wouldn't I know that I'm comparing my life with that of a white fuzzy? I am sane, and I do know what I'm talking about. So you all can just stop writing down all those notes in those little notepads of yours, because I am quite sane and you don't need to diagnose me.

Hai of course I am sane. It's everyone else that's insane. {B}

-That's how psychotic people think you moron! 

Am forgetting you. . .

-Oh that's right, you're trying to ignore me. Anou, I have news for you – IT AIN'T GONNA WORK! 

Am forgetting you. . . am ignoring you. . . am not listening. . .

-How can you NOT listen to me? I'm in YOUR head after all! 

Just let me have my sense of security will you?

-Nope! How can you have any security left at all anyway? I mean your aibou is a MURDERER! 

I try not to think about it. . .

-You are one complex person my friend.

On the contrary, my "friend", I'm quite simple.

-You're starting to confuse me. . . 

Exactly. 

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O.o how'd that 'lil voice get in there? I don't remember planning that. . .

Malik: You don't plan things when you write you moron!

True, true, Malik m'dear, *I* don't at least. I don't know about all you other soon-to-be authors and authoresses out there.

Explanations-

{A} – I saw the 'lil white fuzzies outside today when I was help cleaning the garage, so I thought I'd stick 'em in me story. Hai I am the only one in my family with insanity.

{B} – That'd be me quote. I have no clue where I got it from, I think maybe my Beta, Zoo, but am not completely 100% sure. Mebbe like 25% sure. . .

* * *

There you have it! The long awaited fourth chap- NOOO!!!

Malik: What?

My batteries in my CD player just died. . . must go mourn the loss now. . . ::walks off crying::

Malik: Umm I believe she was saying something about the long awaited fourth chapter and how happy you all must be, and um review. . . something along the lines of that. . .


	5. Water

::is standing in front of a crowd of people:: I would just like to take a vote on this matter. How many of you agree with me, and think that this story is overrated?

::one person raises their hand::

::turns in direction of the person:: Figures it would be you. You always did like ruining my life. And to think, you're supposed to be my beta. Feh. . . Erm, right, now how many of you disagree with me, and say this story is underrated?

::all those who have given good reviews raise their hands, which is approximately. . . 3. . . ::

::sarcastically:: Oh, how exciting. This story is probably going to get published now, I can just see it, and next thing you know I'm going to be the next J.K. Rowling and earn over 400 million dollars from this story. Yes it's all just so predictable. . .

. . .and if you just believed that statement, you need mental help. . .

Yes, of course I know I need the help more than you.

Malik: Ignore her she's. . . actually I don't know what she is. She just. . . is.

Let's just try to continue the story then, shall we?

Malik: Drage-sama no own YuGiOh.

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Water is an interesting thing you know? Put it in a glass and it stays there unless something disturbs it. If the glass cracks, the water leaks out slowly and no one notices until there's this big puddle just sitting there. 

I guess that's what life is. Water. Life is all right and nice until something happens that leaves a crack in the glass that's supposed to protect you from the actual world. Then, slowly, everything starts dripping out and you're left with a mess that you can't do anything about.

In short: reality hits. Hard, and your world ends up in chaos.

A perfect description of my life at the moment; I can't think anymore. Can't eat. Can't sleep. I'm too busy worrying about Bakura-san.

My work is suffering, that's never good. I think I'm losing patients. I'm not sure. I seem to have more time on my hands so I probably have lost at least three patients. I'm surprised I even noticed.

It's been at least a week since my last meeting with Bakura-san. . . I think. I've lost track of time also. He hasn't contacted me since. I scared him off. Figures, I've been so cocky lately, thinking I can handle anything. Karma. Never was something I liked.

I'm looking over some notes now, or trying to at least. My mind keeps wandering towards frustrating and stressful thoughts. I'm literally pulling out my hair now I'm so stressed. I can see the long black strands all over my binder. This isn't right; I'm not supposed to see my hair strands lying around until my late forties.

I took the day off. I wanted to try and catch up with my work. Not exactly happening though. Maybe I should take a vacation, get my mind off everything.

No, it wouldn't work. I'd still be worried. I can't remember the last time when I was this worried actually. . . It was probably when I was around, what, 18? 19? Somewhere in there, nearly ten years ago. 

Have I really been that busy, so busy as not to notice the things around me and worry about the people I care for?

. . . . . . 

Didn't I used to have a dog living here?

That would be a "yes" to the question I asked two thoughts ago.

I need help.

Oh, matte, I gave the dog away.

I really need help if I can't remember that I gave my own dog away. 

Perhaps Bakura-san's life is like that, moving around from one place to another. Being given away like a dog.

What a horrible way to live life.

Of course my life isn't any better, workaholics don't have very good social/family/love lives.

I can't even remember the last time I went out on a date.

I can't remember much of anything anymore.

The media overrates me. I'm overrated in general actually. My lifestyle is overrated. My love life is overrated. My social life is overrated. My life is just plain overrated; I'm not some phenomenon or anything. I'm simply a woman who was born with a compassionate spirit.

Runs in the family if I'm not mistaken. Runs in the women in my family anyway. The men seem to want to demolish something if some complicated problem gets dumped on them.

I need to find a nice counselor now. My life is falling apart, incase you haven't noticed, and I need to go find someone to help me put it back together.

I doubt it will happen though, my life getting put back together that is. 

I can always hope.

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::peers over glasses at chapter while holding clipboard::

::scribbles the following down on clipboard::

Scale of 1-10, 1 being worst, 10 being best.

Drama: Less than zero.

Angst: Less than zero.

Depression: 0.2

Sarcasm: 0.99

Malik: ::peers over shoulder at clipboard:: You need help.

We've determined that already.

Malik: That chapter was too short.

I'm not stupid Malik I know that. This chapter was incredibly difficult to type for some reason. ::grumbles about loss of creativity:: Well there you have it the fifth chapter, no my beta has not corrected this because SHE IS TAKING TOO FRIGGIN' LONG! I'M SERIOUS! IT'S TAKEN HER MORE THAN A WEEK SO FAR! SO ZOO IF YOU GET TICKED CUZ I POSTED THIS BEFORE YOU FINISHED CORRECTING IT, IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT FOR TAKING SO LONG! SO HA!!!!

Malik: Drage-sama wants at least 5 reviews before next chapter! Otherwise, she no continue story! Nyah! XP So if I was you, I would go and tell all your Bakura-crazed fans about this fic! Don't forget to tell them to review too! ^_^


	6. Waffles

::is in denial:: I've decided to give all of you the benefit of the doubt and post this next chapter.

Malik: Either that or it's because you're in a good mood from that religious conference you just got back from.

Yes it's most probably that. ^_^

***

::blank stare::

Malik: You need to continue the story.

::turns and stares at Malik::

Malik: ::hits Drage upside the head:: What's wrong with you?!

::blinks:: What's wrong with me in general, or what's bugging me?

Malik: What's the difference?

The first one would get you a longer answer the latter would get you a shorter answer.

Malik: The latter then.

Critics.

Malik: ???

Let's just start the story.

Malik: Drage-sama is a depressing being, therefore she writes this story to try and make herself feel better. SHE DOESN'T OWN YUGIOH!

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Hikari has been acting very strangely lately; skittish almost, something's up.

Damn child; get out of the way before I run you over!

It's got me worried.

No. No, not worried. Worrying is a sign of weakness. I am not weak. Tomb robbers are not weak. Tomb robbers are powerful and dangerous, not weak.

I SAID GET OUT OF THE WAY CHILD!

Ever since I punished him last week he's been . . . I don't know. I've never seen him like this before.

He's not scared no, of course not. It's something different. 

Certainly I've seen him scared; I am his Yami I cause his fear, but he is not scared, no. It's something else.

That's it; I'm getting out of this Ra forsaken vehicle and moving that child with my own two hands; feh, stupid mortal.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not going soft. It's just that if I were to run over this idiot of a human being during broad daylight people would get suspicious.

The child is crouched on the ground, in the middle of traffic. What the hell does she think she's doing?

"Are you alright?" I ask in my best "hikari" voice.

The child simply looks up at me with wide terrified eyes and seems to be clutching something close to her. Hiding it from me.

That's it; Hikari's hiding something.

"What's that you've got?" I ask as I crouch down so that I am level with her.

She hesitantly holds out her hands towards me, she seems to be on the verge of tears.

Inside her tiny-cupped hands is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. It's a small bird, brown and speckled with white. Yes I seem to be going sentimental, don't I? Ah, but you see, I've left out the most important part that makes it beautiful – blood. The creature is covered in it.

"Can you fix him?" The small child asks me, tears streaming down her face.

Damn, I can't be as vicious as I would like now. It would scare the child and no doubt she would run to a grown mortal, blabbing everything, and then I would look suspicious. I can't draw attention to myself, that wouldn't be good. I need to steal these Items as quietly as possible, without causing a commotion.

I take the bird into my hands, the blood soiling everything it touches. Perhaps I can lick some off my fingers later. I lift up the bird so that it's level with my face. The small bird lifts its eyelid open sleepily gives a tiny peep and closes its eyelid again. 

I do know how to heal, but it isn't easy, as I never see much use of it. So I guess you could say that I'm out of practice. {A}

I'll do anything if it'll get this mortal out of my way.

I carefully examine the small creature, it seems to have been hurt very badly. It seems pointless to try and save it, yet the little girl is staring at me contently, waiting for me to do something.

I close my eyes and gently blow on the bird as I concentrate. It takes me about ten minutes of silence before the bird is decently healed. Not complete though, it'll still have bruises and scrapes, but it will make the child happy. Therefore the child will leave the middle of the road allowing me to get where I need to go.

Which would be the waffle house of course.{B} I must say that the only good thing in this new Ra forsaken world is that delicious food, waffles. Hikari isn't very fond of it though, he has some strange obsession about his health. Doesn't eat anything that has massive amounts of cholesterol and/or fat. I say to hell with health, I'm eating whatever I want!

Maybe I could beat it out of Hikari, what he's hiding I mean. Not his strange habit of eating healthy.

I hand the bird back to the child and stand up.

"There now," I say to her. "The little bird is all better. Now, why don't you get out of the street before you get hurt, alright?" Actually, I wouldn't mind if the little girl got hurt, considering all the trouble she's caused me.

The little girl takes the bird from me happily and skips off. 

It's not until now that I realize that I've caused quite a back up in traffic, oh well, one reason I'm here is to cause chaos isn't it? 

Of course it is.

I climb back into the rusted, nearly broken down vehicle and drive off to the waffle house.

When I enter the waffle house there are three people inside. One is a businessman who seems to be on his coffee break or something and is reading the newspaper, another is a chubby young boy inhaling a stack of waffles, and the last one is a women that seemed not too much older than Hikari she is staring into her coffee cup and seems to be pondering something.

"Hello Bakura-kun!" A cheerful voice greets me. It is the waitress who also shares my love of waffles, "The usual?" she asks me as I sit down at a nearby table.

"Hai, Kinomoto-san," I replied. {C}

"Bakura-san," said a voice.

I turn around and see the woman who was staring into her coffee cup standing behind me.

"Nani?" I snap. 

"Could I have a word with you?" she asks as she sits down in front of me.

Who is this woman?! Why must she disturb my feast of waffles with talk?

"Hai," I said angrily, "but make it quick."

She looked at me startled and said, "You aren't Ryou are you?"

I simply laughed. I think she wants to call someone to send me to the nut house now. This is _classic_ I tell you! You really should see the look on this mortal's face! It's hilarious. I should thank her later, I haven't laughed this hard since. . . never!

I eventually stop laughing, but by that time my beloved waffles have arrived. I would be devouring them at the moment except I have to answer this mortal's question and I'm debating with myself whether or not to tell her that I'm not Hikari.

"And how would you react if I told you I wasn't?" Ha, the perfect answer! I haven't told her that I'm not Hikari, yet I haven't told her that I _am _Hikari.

"Well I would believe Ryou for one thing," she said.

I blinked. What in Ra's name is she talking about? "Believe Hikari about what?" I growled, narrowing my eyes so that I seemed threatening.

"He didn't tell you?" She asked me perplexed, her voice fearless.

"Didn't tell me what?" I asked, my voice rising. Why couldn't I intimidate this mortal?

"I'm a psychologist, Ryou is one of my patients," she told me casually.

"That's it?" I asked with a laugh, relief flooding through me. For a minute I thought my plan had been found out. You know what I'm talking about. My plan to gain incredible power and take over the world? Yes that plan. 

You are one thick mortal did you know that? 

Don't worry; I'm sure all mortals don't know how low their intelligence level is.

 "You had me worried for a second. I thought I was going to have to punish Hikari again." Hikari has _always _seen psychologists; his father is a paranoid baka.

"Yes about that," she replied seriously, "I think the next time Ryou comes in the three of us should talk."

I stared at her blankly. Just exactly what has Hikari been telling this stranger? 

"Why?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well from what I've hear from Ryou, you're very. . . er. . . _aggressive_," she said hesitantly.

"Of course I'm aggressive! I've been dead for nearly a thousand years, what do you expect?" I said angrily as I start to viciously eat my waffles.

The woman stares at me, apparently disgusted with my eating habits, but hey what do I care? I'm one of the most powerful people in the city of Domino right now; I can be a slob if I want to!

"So do you agree? Will you be apart of the discussion during the next session?" She asks me, slightly irritated by my attitude.

I sigh and roll my eyes, "Hai. . ." I mutter as I continue to eat my delicious waffles.

"Good, well then I'll be seeing you," she replied shortly as she got up and left.

Yes you all must think I'm insane now don't you? Insane like my foolish little Hikari, right? Agreeing to something as stupid as that? Ah, but you see, there is a loophole! For that woman to have another session with my Hikari my Hikari would have to _go_ to her, and as of now Hikari isn't going anywhere.

Well now, it looks like we've found out what little timid Hikari has been hiding haven't we?

This is going to be fun.

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::falls asleep on top of key board:: 

::Malik whacks Drage so that she wakes up::

Ow. . .

Malik: You really shouldn't be writing at 10 o'clock at night if you're going to fall asleep after you've finished!

Yeah, yeah, whatever, I'd like to see you go to bed at 12:30 AM and get up at 9:30 AM. ::yawns and stretches:: Anyway ::yawns more:: that's the sixth chapter. ::stares sleepily at computer monitor:: Is it just me or does Ryou seem too out of character? ::yawns:: The tomb robber seems to be in perfect character to me, but something's a little off when it comes to Ryou.

Explanations-

{A} – Once again, making up powers for Yami Bakura! Heh. . . unfortunately unlike all you little lucky people out there I don't have ANY of the manga, so I don't know what he's like and what he's not like. Well unless you count the cheesy dubbed anime as helpful. T.T ::sniffs:: you can imagine my disappointment.

{B} – I was going to have it be the ice cream parlor but I decided that Yami Bakura was more of a waffle person ^_^

{C} - ::Yawns:: I was too lazy to think up another one of my "oh-so-creative" Japanese last names so I used CCS's last name instead. Yeah, gomen, but I'm incredibly lazy when it comes to "creating" things like that.

***

::is sitting in front of a psychologist:: 

Psychologist: Ok, Miss. . .  Drage, I'm going to say a word and I want you to tell me the first thing that comes to your mind. First word - state.

Denial.

Psychologist: Love.

Otogi.

Psychologist: Indecisive.

Me.

Psychologist: Well I've come to the conclusion that your current state is denial, you're in love with Otogi, and you are indecisive.

::blinks:: If that's all a psychologist does then even I can be a psychologist. Memo to self, psychologists are not all like Akiko Katawasai.


	7. Blood

You know you're attached to the computer when you can't go three days without it. A couple weeks ago I was grounded from the computer for a week (Originally it was a week but I managed to get it to just three days + chores. . . LOTS of chores.) I nearly drove myself INSANE. . . wait. . . can you drive yourself insane if you're already insane? Ah who cares, but anyway I had to resort to playing Harvest Moon 64 to keep myself entertained and I NEVER play Harvest Moon anymore! 

Malik: You really need to see someone about this addiction.

Hai, I know. Oo, has anyone been watching the incredibly lame dubbed version of YuGiOh lately? OTOGI HAS RETURNED HOORAY! ^_^ Course I only saw the episode where he first reappeared as I had to go to a conference + vacation, oh yes and evil brother did NOT tape it for me!!! ;_; Feel free to pity the author with no life. . . YES THAT WOULD BE ME SO STOP LOOKING AROUND FOR SOMEONE ELSE LIKE AN IDIOT!

I really need to get my priorities straight. I simply LOVE Ryou, yet . . . I nearly kill him off in this chapter? 

Malik: Have you had any visits with the school guidance counselor recently? 

. . .No. . . why? Should I?

Malik: Very much so.

Ah well, it's summer you know! So I can't! All I can do is work on this chapter of my story! Which by the way I can't do unless you do the disclaimer!

Malik: -_- Drage-sama is Drage-sama. Drage-sama is NOT Kazuki Takahashi, therefore Drage-sama does NOT own YuGiOh.

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Someone up above must really dislike/hate me. I mean REALLY dislike/hate me.

Why else would I be in the current situation?

Yami found out, of course he thought that my father had sent me to this one. Of course, luck was NOT on my side at that moment. That one fateful moment when I let it slip to him that my father *_wasn't_* sending me to this one. That got him really pissed.

I have never seen Yami so furious in all my life. I'm serious; I'm surprised that the room hasn't spontaneously combusted from his rage yet.

Of course, any more of the current treatment and *_I_* might spontaneously combust.

In all the years of abuse I've endured from Yami, I don't think I've *_ever_* felt pain like this. I've missed weeks of school at a time because of the torture Yami has put me through, but none of it was this horrible.

"Why?" He snarls as I collapse down to all fours.

I'm trying to catch my breath so that I can answer when I am distracted by a slight tickling feeling near my temple. I lightly touch my fingers to the area only to pull away in severe pain. I look at my fingers only to see them covered in a red substance. Blood. I'm bleeding.

"Well?!" He shouts as he kicks me in the ribs, I tumble violently into the wall and I hear a sickening crack. I think I just fractured my arm, or rib, or both. It's hard to tell when you're feeling this much pain at once.

"I needed- " I start, but am stopped by a slight tickle in my throat and a warm bitter taste in my mouth. It takes me a few seconds to realize that I'm coughing up blood. I wipe away the liquid from my lips with my arm and try to ignore the vile taste in my mouth.

"I needed to . . . to talk to someone," I pant, trying to get up, only to collapse again.

"Liar!" He shouts furiously as he picks me up by my throat, "You've talked to other friggin' shrinks about me! Why would you need to repeat yourself to some other stranger?" He asks, as he looks me in the eye.

I can only make what must be the most pathetic sounding whimper in the world as I'm slammed up against the wall.

"Well?" He snarls as he releases me.

Yami gives me a few merciful moments before I answer to hack up some more blood.

"I needed - help," I cough. I must have provoked Yami or something because all he does is grin at these words. Not a pleased grin, more like an "I'm going to kill you sometime in the near future" grin.

"You've never needed help in the past why would you need help now?" He asks me quietly, still grinning like a maniac.

"Because, I've haven't snapped until now!" I exclaim as I lunge for his knees, trying to knock him down. All that accomplish is a bruise on the head as I crash into the wall. . . again. I can't say this was a very good move as all I've done is increase my pain and Yami's rage.

"Foolish Hikari, you forget that I do not have a full human form," He scoffs as he steps towards me slightly.

"And you forget the rage people feel when they are tormented," I smart in return.

Yes you all must think I've finally lost it now haven't you? Insulting my Yami like that and trying to attack him? Yes well you know what they say - never judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes, then you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Well I would have to say that you're probably right. I think I have finally lost it. I've finally snapped. 

Of course I've thought a lot of things. That doesn't mean they're right.

***Of all the things I've lost, it's my mind I miss the most.***

The previous statement is how I currently feel, that and fury the size of Russia.

"When have you ever felt rage, Hikari?" He asks me amused, almost tauntingly.

"Every single damned day of my life!" I snarl at him as I leap at him again trying to inflict some sort of damage upon my tormentor, and, to my surprise and alarm, I have. I've knocked him off his feet. He's lying on the floor and I have the advantage! Of course before I can do anything he goes for my throat and starts strangling me.

"What do you think you can do to me?" He asks in a low growl, "Do you think you can hurt me? Scare me off like a mouse?" He laughs, "Silly Hikari, you have things turned around. *_I'm*_ the one that hurts *_you*_, *_I'm_* the one that scares *_you* _off!" He informs me as he tosses me easily into the dresser.

Watch out. Don't mess with me. I'm pissed now.

Then again, that thought coming from me must sound hilarious.

I grope around for something. Anything. My hand stops moving and rests upon my incredibly thick dictionary that I only use when I'm writing long essays for school. Knowledge has never really helped me until now as I chuck the book straight at Yami's head.

At this point things get hard for *_you*_ to imagine as it all seems incredibly impossible, and very difficult to believe.

Yes well anyway, you can all but imagine my astonishment as the extraordinarily large book comes in contact with Yami's face. 

I think I now understand Yami's obsession with blood. I can only watch fascinated as it splatters all over the floor.

Apparently I broke Yami's nose.

Uh huh! Oh yeah! Go me!

Score one for causing pain! Subtract ten for taking so damn long to cause it.

Ok, you all know how surprised I was about two minutes ago? You know, when that dictionary hit Yami's face? Yes well take that, and multiply it by ten thousand and you'll get the idea of just how surprised I am *now*.

Yami returned to the ring. 

I won. I beat him! I'M VICTORIOUS. . . not to mention in INCREDIBLE pain. I need treatment. Now. 

What to do though? I can't treat myself, last time I did that after one of Yami's beatings I passed out in the bathroom and woke up in the basement. Don't ask how. I have no clue.

Can't go to the hospital either, they ask too many questions. I'm no good when it comes to lying.

I need someone who has had medical experience, who doesn't necessarily need to know the whole story. 

Do I even know anyone like that?

Do I always ask stupid questions? 

I collapse into a kitchen chair as I flip through the phone book. Katawasai, Katawasai, where the hell is Katawasai?! Oh never mind found it. 1089 Hitachi Street? Thank Kami-sama; it's not far from here. {A}

I guess I'll have to walk there. The car broke down last time Yami drove it. It still hasn't been fixed. Somehow he managed to blame it on me too, said something about waffles getting revenge because I'm too good for them or something.

I can barely get out the front door I'm in so much pain at the moment. I hardly know where I'm going either. Something else besides my brain seems to be directing me to Katawasai's house.

As I stumble up the steps to 1089 I wonder vaguely if the world is suppose to be spinning this fast. I didn't think you were supposed to feel the earth rotating.

I can't think about this subject any longer as gravity seems to have increased immensely and has pulled me to the ground and my world goes black.

Damn. I haven't even rang the door bell yet.

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I can't believe I wrote such a horrible chapter.

Malik: Horrible how, grammar horrible or plotline horrible?

Plotline horrible. Here I am sitting here typing this returning from a three-day (youth) religious conference (Which was EXCELLENT by the way, if you're a teen go to a youth conference! You'll love it!) And I'm spreading violence and evil. I'm such a hypocrite. -_-

Explanations-

{A} – DO NOT – I REPEAT – DO NOT GIVE ME CREDIT FOR MAKING UP THAT STREET NAME! -_- I saw it on a bulldozer and thought it sounded Japanese -_- is my lack of imagination boring you YET?

I think I'm going mental. I have the strangest thoughts. I'd rather not say as all my loyal reviewers (Which is what? 2? 3?) will most probably be freaked out that their favorite author is a nutcase.

I guess you could say that you know you've lost it when you take a "Black Zodiac" quiz and find out that you're "Black Zodiac sign #13: The Lost Soul" meaning you can't forgive yourself for what you've done. You constantly wander the mortal world waiting for other ghosts to find you and consume you completely. . . or something like that. . . have I mentioned I have the worst memory in the world?

Erm right, well my current location is the nuthouse. I have no clue which one, as they won't tell me. They just took me away one day and they aren't letting me out. They won't give me any beverages with large amounts of caffeine in them either. No coke, no coffee (not that I like it), no tea. NO CAFFEINE! It sucks. Not to mention the fact that. . . it gets. . . very. . . hard. . . to stay. . . awake. . . .

::head falls down and clunks onto the keyboard::

-_-zZ


	8. I Can Care For You

I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life.

Otou really hates me. I can tell.

Don't give me that look. I'm serious. My father hates me!

You would get the same impression too if your father called you a bitch!

Would you like to know why he called me a bitch?

Because. . . I left. . . a window. . . open.

My life sucks.

I assume you can guess that my writings reflect my mood, hence the reason for the violence in the previous chapter. I was angry when I wrote that. Therefore this chapter will most probably be depressing, as my current mood is depressed.

This chapter is going to be Ryou POV, just because I felt like it. So if ya don't like that, well then you're screwed aren't you?

Otogi: Wow, to think that I haven't said one word yet. . .

Oh yes, and for those of you who don't know I have switched my muse from Malik to Otogi cuz Malik wouldn't bring my caffeinated beverages to the nuthouse. Otogi on the other hand is willing to do so.

Otogi: She gives me cookies when I do ^-^

Shall now continue the story.

Otogi: If you people still think that Erato-sama owns YGO then you must be really thick.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Huh?

Where am I? What happened? 

Who am I?

I can't see anything at the moment everything's dark. Blackness.

I quickly open my eyelids as everything rushes back into my memory.

_Yami. Blood. Dictionary. Pain. Shock. _

Bad choice. I have a throbbing headache now.

What kind of idiot would paint their room this white? The brightness is making my headache worse. 

As I look around I find the room is completely white, except for the green plants that are sitting here and there. Doesn't the lack of color bore people? I mean even the sheets and comforter on the bed are white! Carpet, curtains, dressers, picture frames, even the pots for the plants. Everything! It's almost sickening.

Though I find the lack of distractions calming.

I try to sit up only to find that my head seems to weigh ten times it's own weight as I fall back and hit the pillow. Judging from the _white _clock on the _white _nightstand it's about twelve-thirty. Wow, I've surprised myself! I never sleep in this late!

 I'm wondering what I should do when the door opens.

"Oh good you're awake," Katawasai says, not bothering to hide the relief in her voice, as she enters the room with a tray of what looks like tea, water, and painkillers.

I groan, "What happened?" I asked.

"That's what I'd like to know. All I know is that you were covered in blood when I found you, and you've been unconscious ever since."

"And how long would that be?" I inquiry.

"Three days."

I groan again and try to sit up, but my muscles rebel to this command about half way through the action and I fall against the pillows again.

"Headache?" 

"Hai. . ." I mumble.

"Take these," She says as she hands me two little pills and a glass of water. I take the pills, place them in my mouth, and lift my head to just barely take a drink of water.

"Lucky for you I have strange instincts," she tells me, "I was about to go to bed that night when I felt something was wrong. So I checked the entire house and then looked outside. Had I waited and found you in the morning you might have bled to death."

"Death might have been less painful," I reply bitterly.

"Pain is temporary," She tells me.

"That doesn't mean I enjoy it," I retort.

"It doesn't mean you should," She told me. "So would you care to tell me how you ended up unconscious on my door step at one in the morning?" She asks, pulling up a chair and sitting down next to me.

I groaned again, trying to sit up and this time actually succeeding.

Before I start talking I fix Katawasai-sensei with a God-intimidating glare. Or what I _hope _is a God-intimidating glare. My glares are always so pathetic.

Hey lookit! So am I! Wow doesn't that just surprise you all so much?

Old news for me, what about you?

Oh, wow, that's _new _news to you? Really? You really didn't know that?

You seriously need to get up to date with current events.

Hey look! So do I!

. . . Let's not go there.

I'm about to start telling her the whole story when I feel a familiar tickle in the back of my throat and a familiar warm taste in my mouth.

A few seconds later I'm coughing like I just inhaled sand through my mouth. When my coughing fit has finally ceased I realize there's a small dribble of blood on my hands.

"You must have been injured pretty badly if you're still coughing up blood," Katawasai tells me as she hands me a handkerchief. (Oh wow! It's _white _too! What a shock!)

I laugh bitterly, " 'Injured' is an understatement," I inform her, "try 'maimed' or 'mutilated', those might fit better."

"I'm not really interested in what the correct term is," I am told, "I'm more interested in _how _you got 'maimed'."

I sigh, getting the idea I start talking.

"I guess you could say that the reason I had the crap beat out of me was that you went and talked to Yami." I tell her.

"I didn't exactly do it on purpose," She interrupts, "I thought it was you. How was I suppose to know that your Yami wandered around freely during the daytime?"{A}

"Dr. Katawasai, do you wish to know how I was abused or not?" I ask somewhat annoyed. {B}

"Gomen," she replies sheepishly.

"Anyway, Yami wasn't happy when he found out what I had been talking to you about," I told her, "So he punished me. Need I say more?" 

Katawasai buried her face in her hands, she was either crying or just stressed out. I couldn't tell.

A few moments passed in silence before she spoke.

"Don't you have anyone to help you?" She asked me as she looked back up, "your parents, don't they do anything about it?"

"My mother's dead and my father. . . well he isn't home that much. He's so busy that he only has enough time to order other to people help me. That way he doesn't have to. It would be nice to have someone who actually cared though. "

"What about your friends? Do they know?" She asked me. Sheesh, what is she doing? Writing a book on my life? Wouldn't be very interesting if she was though. _The Sad and Pathetic Life of Ryou Bakura. _What a cheerful title, don't you agree? You wouldn't be able to finish though; you'd either fall asleep from boredom, or start crying hysterically from depression.

"I don't have many friends, and the friends I do have are pretty much preoccupied with other things," I told her simply. 

"What kind of 'other things'?" She inquired.

Oh just the normal everyday stuff, you know trying to stop some maniac from getting the power of the Sennen Puzzle, dueling, keeping the world from ending up in chaos. You know. The usual.

I shifted uncomfortably. "Just stuff," I answered. 

"So, you're pretty much alone aren't you?" She asked me somewhat sorrowfully.

"Well. . . yeah." I don't see what the big deal is though. I mean I've been alone for most of my life. I'm used to it. Gives me time to thinks. Though sometimes the silence is _too_ loud and I just can't stand it. When that happens I either start tugging on random strands of my hair or chuck something at the wall.

***Random Person: Bakura, what would you say your social life is like?

Bakura: Er, define _social _please.***

Yup, that's how anti-social I am.

 I'm always the forgotten one when it comes to my friends, either that or they don't want to be around me because of mou hitori no boku. I don't blame them; I mean who would _want _to hang around a crazed, bloodthirsty maniac? 

. . . me. . . well then again, I don't really have a choice.

"Bakura would you like to hear a story?" She asks me suddenly.

I blink. Wow, what a change in conversation. One minute she's talking about how my life is so lonely and depressing and now she wants to tell me a bedtime story! Well it can't exactly be a bedtime story if it in the middle of the day can it?

Slowly I nod my head. Still very confused.

"There once was a young woman," she started, "she was very beautiful. She had dark black hair, delicate pale skin, eyes the color of ice, a thin frail body, long slender fingers, and a kind face.  Her name was Glasere. Glasere was a wonderful person, but she was frightened by almost everything."{C}

"Why?" I interrupted. I was paying attention like a small child being told an exciting story. I can't say this story is exciting thus far, but it interests me. I mean, is it possible to be afraid of _everything_?

"Glasere experienced some. . ._horrific _events that traumatized her, so she's been protecting herself by being suspicious of everything, but at the same time terrified that the same thing will happen to her." Katawasai told me.

"What traumatized her? What happened?" I asked eagerly. Hey, call me a sadist but I find I like to hear about bad stuff happening to other people. Makes me feel less tormented.

Katawasai hesitated, trying to decide whether or not to tell me.

"Her mother was killed right before her eyes by her uncle, and then her father went insane from her mother's death," I was informed. I gaped at her; Glasere's mother was murdered before her eyes? That's horrible! Sure I know what it feels like to lose a parent, but to have your parent killed before your eyes? The person who did that was just plain sick.

"She stayed away from people, away from everything. She bought a house in the country and lived alone. Isolated. She never went to work, never left her house; she never did anything because she was drowning in fear. Glasere was too afraid to make any friends, to talk to anyone, to get close to someone," Katawasai said mournfully, "Eventually she committed suicide because she couldn't live in her paranoia. She couldn't handle the feeling she always had, the feeling that something was going to happen to her, the feeling that someone was out to get her."

"_Was _someone out to get her?" I asked curiously. Katawasai paused for a moment, thinking.

"Yes." She said finally, "Her own self was out to get her. Because she was always worried that _someone else_ would get her she forgot to be aware of her emotional state. So, she got herself."

"But everyday I wonder that maybe things would have been different if Glasere had someone to talk to, someone to ease the pain," she said as tears start trickling down her face.

At that point a thought struck me, "Did. . . did you know Glasere?" I asked. "Did you know her personally? Was she one of your patients or something?"

"Yes, I knew Glasere. She wasn't one of my patients though," I am informed, "She was my cousin."

My eyes widened, "So does that mean - "

"My own father killed my aunt." She finished for me.

I sat there in an awed silence. "But. . . why?" I asked.

"I'm not exactly sure why. I was around five at the time so I don't remember much. I think it was because he had a second life. One he knew my mother wouldn't approve of. My aunt found out one night and started threatening to tell my mother if he didn't stop. Needless to say my father had some issues of his own," She said.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" I asked confused, "Why do I need to know?"

"I don't want you to end up like Glasere. I don't want you to end up dying alone. I don't want you to live a half-life. I want to help you." She said.

"How?" I asked perplexed, "How can you help me? What comfort can you offer?"

"I can be your friend. I can be your personal doctor, for physical and emotional health. Whenever you can't handle something, or you need to rant you can come to me. Anytime. Day or night," She told me, "I can care for you."

_I can care for you. _

That would be nice, someone who could care for me, someone who could ease the pain for me, someone who could help me, and most importantly someone who would give me company. I wouldn't be alone anymore; I would have someone to talk to at anytime.

I nodded slowly, "I would like that," I told her.

"It's settled then," she said softly.

That was almost a year ago. Akiko Katawasai still helps me but I have learned to deal with a lot of stuff on my own. Mou hitori no boku isn't as abusive now, he knows that the pain doesn't hurt so much anymore because someone is there for me. I am able to make more friends and get to know people more without worrying what will happen if Yami takes over. 

"I can care for you." To this day those words still echo in my mind and I try to do the same for others.

I finally know where I belong. I finally know who I am. I have finally found myself.

***END***

;_; A happy ending, don't you agree Otogi?

Otogi: Very much so!

Arigato Reviewers! Without you I would have lost the will to write!

**Kuroi Karasu** – O.O NO! NOT THE ALGEBRA QUESTIONS! I DON'T NEED MATH OVER MY SUMMER VACATION! GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!!!!

**Saurons Twin Sister** - ^^ Thanks! I luv Ryou and Bakura too! I'm not sure who I love more though – Ryou and Bakura or Otogi! Lol

**Sora The Saria **– Yeah, I went into denial and gave all reviewers the benefit of the doubt ^^.    Heh heh, yeah I can make people do whatever I want! I just have to put what I want them to do in my stories, and then they'll do it! Mwhahahaa! {Otogi: So does that mean you want people to try and kill off Ryou?} . . . shut up. . .

**Elle-FaTe2x1 **- ::beams:: Thank you. Sorry to hear about your finger. I broke my pinky finger once. . . couldn't type for a loooooong time. 

Thank you again reviewers!

Explanations-

{A} – Yeah, a psychologist probably wouldn't say anything like that but what can I say? I was partially angry when I wrote this ^^;;

{B} – Heh, I finally got annoyed with all the "-sensei" and "-san" things so I gave myself a break and put in "Dr." instead ^^

{C} – For those of you who don't know "Glasere" is Norwegian for "ice". 

And I say farewell to this story, it was fun to write, but fear not! For I am writing _another _YGO fic that involves Bakura! (Ish called "Younen" go check it out!) 

For more information on where I get the inner turmoil for my stories check out my online journal at:  ^^ yes I am advertising ^^ The link is also in my profile ::hint hint:: ::wink wink:: ::nudge nudge:: ^_________^

Thank you all for your support! I appreciate it!


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